Jazz City Diner, Darlinghurst -- or -- Happiness = philosophy + time

Found a review for a great-sounding raw vegan cafe in King's Cross. Made plans for dinner. Told friends about it.

"Vegan places disappear almost as quickly as lesbian clubs," one commented.

The latter is out of my jurisdiction. I can confirm, however, that the vegan place in question was no longer there when we arrived the next day.

When you can't make lemonade you gotta make other plans.

Three eats to the Windy City -- Wellington on a Plate, New Zealand

A whirlwind trip to Wellington on a Plate begins with arriving at late o'clock on Friday and departing at shhh you'll wake the rooster on Monday. And in between is a whole bunch of decadence and silliness.

Disclaimer: Detective Chow's trip to New Zealand was completely privately funded. If anyone wants to sponsor him for future visits to Wellington or any other city/township, he is totally up for it. (I hope you're reading this, Tourism NZ and Air New Zealand.)

 

Newtown Burger Grudge Match: Dean's Diner, Newtown

Last month three Newtown Burger Joints -- some called them 'chains' or 'franchises' -- went bunno-a-bunno in a food fight to the death. "But wait," the crowd called. "You forgot someone. The little guy. The local favourite. The place with the arcade game tables and the funny burger names. Go on. Give Dean's a chance."

Detective Chow is listening.

Newtown's Best Burger Joint -- Ultimate Biting Championship

or "The Running of the Bulls".

Bonus points if you get all the 'battle to the death' movie references, and bonus bonus points if you can tell me how to work Tron and Robot Jocks into the mix.

Disclaimer 1: More than any other F.S.I. episode, this one needs to be taken with a grain of salt. While I did use a measuring tape and electronic scales in the field investigation, my methods were far from scientific.

Disclaimer 2: I visited Moo Gourmet Burgers as part of the blogger #BurgerParty, and received freebies including a $10 voucher, champagne on arrival, name tag, and a couple of items of kitchenware.

Disclaimer 3: We don't have a defense of 'satire' for intellectual property infringement in Australia, but, UFC, if you mind my satirical use of your IP... I'll just change it to Ultimeat Biting Chompionship. And that string of puns will do more damage to your brand than any other infringement.